Jokes, Riddles, and Puzzles

     • Two men are flying a plane. The passengers (mainly kids) are being very loud and noisy. The plane is even shaking and rocking. The pilot finally has enough and go says something to the passengers. When he comes back, the plane isn't moving at all. The second pilot asks what the first pilot said. The first pilot replies, "I told them there was a bigger playground downstairs."
• A teacher asks a student "Which liquid when heated turns to a solid?"
Kid: Pancake batter.
• A man comes into the airport carrying a table. When the flight attendants ask him why he has brought a table, he says that he had forgotten the plane tickets on it last time so he brought the whole table!
• A man is selling two of his horses, a black one and a white one. A customer arrives and asks the farmer a few questions about the horses before he wants to buy them. Here they are:
   Customer: What do you feed your horses?
   Man: Which one, the white one or the black one?
   Customer: The white one.
   Man: Hay, carrots, and apples.
   Customer: And the black one?
   Man: Hay, carrots, and apples
   Customer: When do you ride the horses?
   Man: Which one, the white one or the black one?
   Customer: The white one.
   Man: Every day for 45 minutes.
   Customer: And the black one?
   Man: Every day for 45 minutes.
   Customer: When do you clean out their stalls?
   Man: Whose stall, the white or the black one?
   Customer: THE WHITE ONE!
   Man: I clean his stall every other day.
   Customer: And the black one's stall?
   Man: I clean that one every other day too.
   Customer: If everything is the same for both your horses, why do you ask me if I am asking about the white or black one?
   Man: Because the white one is mine.
   Customer: And the black one?
   Man: That one is mine too.
•  Here's an anti-joke:
Ice cream man: Get your ice cream!
Kid: Here is my money.
Ice cream man: Pick a flavor.
Kid: Chocolate.
Ice cream man: Okay. Cone or bowl?
Kid: Cone.
Ice cream man: Small or large.
Kid: Large.
Ice cream man: Here is your ice cream.
Kid: Thank you.
End of "joke". That joke was funny because it was not a real joke. :)

Q: How did people cross the street when there were no stoplights?

A: They followed the chicken!
Q: 20 people jump in the pool. How come there are 24 heads?
A: There were 20 fore-heads. :)

Q: Have you heard the joke about the tortilla?
A: It is too corny.
Q: Heard the one with the jump rope?
A: Skip it.
Q: Heard the one about the bed?

A: It is not even made up yet!
Q: Which commonly used item is a king?
A: A ruler.

 Q:Pretend you are in the rainforest and a huge animal is chasing you. What do you do?
A: Stop pretending!

Q: There is a plane crash somewhere in the jungle. How many survivors died?
A: None. Survivors are living.

Q: Susan asks the same question 20 times in one day, but the answer is always different. What is the question?
A: She asked "what time is it?"

 Q: Who can jump higher than a tree?
 A: Everyone! Trees can't jump!
Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick!
Q: What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot!
Q: What is green and looks like an apple?
A: A green apple!
Q: What is pink and smells like a red rose?
A: A pink rose!

Q:How long was the thirty years war?
A:Thirty years! :) (from 1618-1648) Did you get tricked?

Q: There is one brother and one sister sitting on a bench. The brother has some money in his pockets, because his mom said he was 2 years older and more responsible to carry it. The 7-year-old sister wants to have her own money to carry, and her mom says that when she is the same age as her brother she can go buy stuff herself. In how many years will she be the same age as her brother?
Answer: Never! He will always be 2 years older! :)

Q: There is a round-shaped house. There has been a murder inside. There are three suspects. When interrogated, the suspects said:
Wife: I was getting ready for the party in my room!
Maid: I was sweeping the corners of the house to get ready for the party.
Chef: I was chopping vegetables for the party.
Who was guilty?
Answer: The maid is guilty, since there are no corners in a round house :).

Q: You are driving a bus. 2 people get on, 3 people get off. 5 people come on, 2 people get off. 6 people get on, 3 get off. 9 people get on, 1 person gets off. What color are the bus driver's eyes?
A: The bus driver's eyes are the same color as yours since you are driving the bus!



     • I found this puzzle somewhere:
Draw a square and draw lines so it has 9 pieces; a 3-by-3 square
You have to arrange all the numbers less than ten but not including 0 so that all the numbers add up to 15 vertically, horizontally, and diagonally. It's not as easy as it seems. Good luck!

     • The number 4 is cosmic, so I can change any number into 4 and the number 4 will go on forever. You can't change 4 into anything else. You have to figure out how I am changing the numbers. Here goes with examples:
26 equals nine, 9 equals four, 4 is cosmic.
16 equals seven, 7 equals five, 5 equals four, 4 is cosmic.
6 equals three, 3 equals five, 5 equals four, 4 is cosmic.
89 equals ten, 10 equals three, 3 equals five, 5 equals four, 4 is cosmic.
73 equals twelve, 12 equals six, 6 equals three, 3 equals five, 5 equals four, 4 is cosmic.
    Additional hints are:
     You can substitute 72 for 89.
     You can substitute 78 for 73.

     You can substitute 7 for 16. 
  • I have a really tough one for you guys today! Is everyone ready?
Click here for the riddle! Sorry for not posting it, but the website has a nice picture and the riddle is pretty confusing if not worded probably.
My hint to you guys is to think very carefully about who has no source of information at all and remove them from the possibilities. Enjoy!

That's all for now! I'll try to post as often as I hear 3-4 new jokes.
Thanks for reading!

-Not a Prima Donna Girl

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