It has been an eternity since my last post. I realized this when it took me a second to remember my own blog url. As a test to see if you are an official True Fan of my Cool Blog, answer the following without checking: does my url contain "notaprimadonna" or "notprimadonna"? (Also please answer: why haven't I chosen a new blog name yet?)
Anyway, thanks to the influence of my bookish friends, I have been reading quite a bit this summer! I currently have 29 books out on my 2 library cards (though most of them are graphic novels, which are quick reads). Not to brag, but I also have $0 in fines. After my family accidentally checked out our books for 3 years*, I'm sure that my libraries are relieved that I now check out self-returning e-books instead of hard copies.
* fear not, the books have all been returned safely to their shelves
One graphic novel I read recently was Spinning. It was quite thought-provoking, so I decided to discuss it in a review.
Cover courtesy of Goodreads
Goodreads summary: Poignant and captivating, Ignatz Award winner Tillie Walden's powerful graphic memoir, Spinning, captures what it's like to come of age, come out, and come to terms with leaving behind everything you used to know.
It was the same every morning. Wake up, grab the ice skates, and head to the rink while the world was still dark.
Weekends were spent in glitter and tights at competitions. Perform. Smile. And do it again.
She was good. She won. And she hated it.
For ten years, figure skating was Tillie Walden's life. She woke before dawn for morning lessons, went straight to group practice after school, and spent weekends competing at ice rinks across the state. It was a central piece of her identity, her safe haven from the stress of school, bullies, and family. But over time, as she switched schools, got into art, and fell in love with her first girlfriend, she began to question how the close-minded world of figure skating fit in with the rest of her life, and whether all the work was worth it given the reality: that she, and her friends on the figure skating team, were nowhere close to Olympic hopefuls. It all led to one question: What was the point? The more Tillie thought about it, the more Tillie realized she'd outgrown her passion--and she finally needed to find her own voice.
Review: I try to avoid talking about myself while reviewing, but due to the nature of memoirs and a connection I felt with the story, I'd like to share a bit about myself.
This book spoke to me a lot because of my experiences with Taekwondo. I started Taekwondo around the end of third grade and continued for about 7-8 years. I don't remember the details of the beginning of my journey, but I do remember being really, really happy whenever I was at the dojang. Early on as a white/yellow belt, I gravitated toward poomsae, the precision-based form techniques, rather than sparring. After I joined our demonstration and competition teams, I pressured myself to succeed, and I gained a heightened awareness of every mistake I made. I sought perfection, practicing each block and stroke in front of the mirror over and over again. Poomsae is scored via deductions—every mistake subtracts 0.1 (minor deduction) or 0.3 (major deduction) points—so I eagerly strengthened my attention to detail. Once I got busier in middle and high school, I didn't have the time to go to classes as often (though I attended more classes than I give myself credit for). Also, after I hit a basic understanding of the techniques (sometime after getting my black belt), improvement became slower. I couldn't reach my (unrealistic) goals anymore. I felt worse and worse about my performances as time went on. Eventually, my confidence started wavering outside of the dojang as well. I doubted myself in school and in other extracurriculars, always striving for the perfection that I (for some reason) saw in others, until I eventually left my favorite sport. Even afterward, the impact (primarily a tendency for self-doubt) was lasting. I acquired a lot of good habits from taekwondo, but there were many struggles as well.
I never realized how similar the natures of taekwondo poomsae and skating are: rehearsing routine movements until they're flawless, working with a team and individually sometimes, practicing at a central location (dojang/rink), observing levels of parental involvement/absence, traveling around tournament schedules, focusing on grace and appearance (yes, hair is important in taekwondo), etc.
Never have I felt my struggles reflected in a book other than Spinning. Walden highlights the need to win and be perfect until she begins to perform just for the sake of it. Her work illustrates how easy it is for a sport to fall apart in your eyes without you knowing why and when. She discusses the confusion of understanding when to quit, and I relate to this because quitting taekwondo was near-impossible when I wasn't even sure why I wanted to give up. Ultimately, Spinning focuses a lot on Walden's frustrations, which I found extremely relatable and realistic. I don't think these frustrations are necessarily common to every athlete, but if you do start to undergo these experiences, it's helpful to read books like Spinning and realize that others have felt this way.
To add a few other comments, the memoir's ending was quite open, emphasizing the end of a chapter in her life rather than a perfect ending or "goodbye". The art style was quiet, calm, and graceful (the purple was gorgeous). Technical details about ice skating were enjoyable, even without my background in/knowledge of the sport. The author's note discusses how Walden focuses on other aspects of her life, such as her relationship, music lessons, and school bullies, in the context of her figure skating journey. The note was beautifully-written and furthered my understanding of Walden's writing intentions, tying her piece together.
I feel like we often hear from athletes who make it to the top (and that's certainly reasonable), but I enjoyed this piece's refreshing idea that any athlete with talent, dedication, and expertise can still share so much about their journey. To me, this book used figure skating to reveal everyday struggles behind perfection and performance. It is a book that requires reflection, because it may not be immediately relatable to most. Yet I hope that if you read it, there's something to take away. I rate it 5 stars.
Thanks for checking out this review :). Have you read Spinning? Do you have any other graphic novel recommendations? Let me know!
